I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
