all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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