I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
