Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
