her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
