I'm pants shitting drunk right now
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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