carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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