you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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