forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
