Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Randomize
