Its about making memories worth repressing
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
