I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
