She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
You've changed since you got that strap on
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
