Where is the hickey?
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
