My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
