did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
you guys were way drunker than both of me
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
