That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
