Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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