dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
