Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
