brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Non-Jews are for practice
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
