I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
