pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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