Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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