she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
