her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
