I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
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