I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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