hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
