The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
