My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
