the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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