I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
