Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
