ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
