she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize
