uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
she looked like the before picture.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize