I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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