The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
