Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
