Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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