Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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