TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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