The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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