yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Drunk is not a location!
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
