We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I don't want my vagina anymore.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
