Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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