Apparently you make a good broom.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Randomize
