Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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