Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
