is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
