RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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