oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
