Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
These tits shall not be calmed
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
