"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
