what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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