AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I AM VODKA MAN
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Randomize
