man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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