We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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