Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
