Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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