This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
