I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
