he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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