winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
