yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
