I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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