im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
