hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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