just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
